Self-Love Kit by Pascale
Ohlala Coaching

Welcome to your
Self-Love Kit.

This is yours. There is no right way to move through it, no order you have to follow, no timeline you are behind on. You can start anywhere, spend as long as you want on one tool, ignore another completely for now and come back to it in three months.
It is built to be used the way you actually live. Not the way a course tells you to.
Before you go anywhere, a few practical things worth knowing about how this works.

This is an interactive web page, not an app. You do not need to download anything or create an account. You open it in your browser and it works. Some parts respond to what you do: timers run, things save, your answers stay visible when you come back.

Your information saves to this device and this browser only. When you write something - a brag, a mirror entry, a forgiveness list - it saves automatically to your browser. It does not go anywhere, it is not visible to anyone else, it is not backed up to a server. If you clear your browser history or switch devices, it will not be there.

Save this link somewhere you will find it. Bookmark it. Save it to your home screen. This is not a one-time experience. The easier it is to find, the more you will use it.

You can save or print any page. At the bottom of every tab there are two buttons: Save as image and Print. Use them before clearing your browser.

If something gets big
Some of these tools go to real places. That is not a warning - that is the point. But if something surfaces that feels like too much, here are two tools to bring you back quickly. They live here on Tab 1 and are always one tap away.
Tool 1 - Visual Anchoring
Deliberate visual attention to orient to the present moment.
  • Lift your head and let your eyes land on something in the room. Notice its colour. Name it out loud or in your head: "Blue. That is the cushion. It is blue."
  • Take a slow breath.
  • Move your head slowly and let your eyes land somewhere else. A different object, a different colour. Name it.
  • Take a slow breath.
  • Keep going. Five or six objects. Colours first, then the object. Move slowly between them.
Why it works: Deliberately orienting to your environment sends a direct signal to the nervous system that you are safe in this moment. The colour naming adds mild cognitive engagement that interrupts the stress loop.
Tool 2 - Butterfly Hug
Bilateral stimulation used in somatic and trauma-informed practice.
  • Cross your arms over your chest - right hand to left shoulder, left hand to right shoulder. Let your hands rest there.
  • Take one slow breath.
  • Begin tapping - right hand, left hand, right hand, left hand. Slow and rhythmic. The pace of a slow heartbeat.
  • Keep breathing. Keep tapping. Let your eyes close or go soft.
  • Stay with it for one to two minutes. You will feel a settling. When you feel it, you can stop.
Why it works: Alternating left-right stimulation moves information between the brain's hemispheres in a way that helps regulate emotional activation. Same principle as EMDR, simplified into something you can do with your own hands.
What is in here
Seven tools. Each one is a real practice with real methodology behind it. Click to see what they are.
  • 01
    Better Than Affirmations
    Instead of telling yourself something you do not quite believe yet, you ask a question that assumes it is already true. The brain goes looking for evidence. That is the whole mechanic.
  • 02
    Body Appreciation Scan
    A guided scan through six areas of your body - not to find them beautiful, but to notice what they did today. Function, not aesthetic. Takes about ten minutes.
  • 03
    Somatic Self-Soothing Touch
    Five minutes of slow, deliberate self-touch. Not for pleasure, not for relaxation in the bath-bomb sense. To tell your nervous system it is safe here.
  • 04
    Mirror Minute
    Sixty seconds in front of a mirror. No affirmations, no fixing, no finding something to love. Just looking. Then one question. Harder than it sounds - and worth it.
  • 05
    Forgiveness Work
    You build a list of memories and moments that still carry a charge. Then you go through them one by one with four phrases. Named things release differently than unnamed ones.
  • 06
    Back to Her
    A guided audio session. You go back to a specific memory where younger you did not get what she needed - and you go back in as who you are now, to give it to her.
  • 07
    The Bragging Practice
    You name what you did well. Out loud, in writing, regularly. The brain does not hold good things automatically - this is how you make them stick.

Better Than Affirmations

Affirmations do not work for most of us. Not because we are doing them wrong - because the brain is not that easy to fool.
When you stand in front of a mirror and say "I am beautiful," a part of your brain immediately checks that against everything it believes and files it under: yeah, right. The statement lands, gets evaluated, gets rejected. You feel slightly worse for having tried.
Here is what works instead. Ask a question.
"Why do I feel so at home in my body?" The brain does not file that under true or false. It goes looking for evidence. It starts building the case.
That is afformations - a technique developed by Noah St. John - and it is the only version of this practice that has ever actually done anything.
What the shift looks like
The old wayThe new way
I am beautiful.Why do I feel so at home in my body?
I love myself.Why is it getting easier to be on my own side?
I trust myself.Why do I keep making decisions I can actually stand behind?
I am worthy of good things.Why do good things feel more natural to me now?
I am full of aliveness.Why does my body know how to find pleasure even on the hard days?

Notice the range. Some are gentle. Some are a little defiant. Yours can be either. The only rule: phrase it as a question that assumes the answer is already yes.

Now make yours
Path A - Transform one you know

Take an affirmation you have tried before and flip it into a question. Write as many as you like.

I used to say
Now I ask
I used to say
Now I ask
I used to say
Now I ask
Path B - Write one fresh

No old version needed. Just write the question directly.

Your afformations

Your afformations will appear here as you write them.

Read yours slowly. Out loud if you can. Once in the morning, or whenever the old version of the thought shows up. You are not trying to believe it yet. You are just asking the question and letting the brain do what it does.

Take this with you

Your afformations, yours to keep.

Body Appreciation Scan

This is not a body positivity exercise. You do not have to find your body beautiful. You do not have to feel grateful for it in some performed, Instagram-caption kind of way.
This is a scan. You move through six areas - throat, heart, belly, pelvic floor, hands, legs - and notice what each one did today. What it carried. What it held. What it made possible. Function, not aesthetic.
Ten minutes. Sit or lie down somewhere you will not be interrupted.

Before you start: For each area, place one hand directly on that part of your body. The hand is not doing anything - it is just a point of contact. It makes the area more findable.


As you complete each area, it stays visible above you. You will be able to see everything you have noticed so far as you move through the scan.

Take this with you

Your scan and what your body was holding today.

Somatic Self-Soothing Touch

This is not a massage. It is not self-care in the bath-bomb sense. And it is not sexual.
It is five minutes of your hands moving slowly over your own body - legs, arms, shoulders, belly, face and scalp - with one intention: to tell your nervous system it is safe here. That is it. Signal of safety. Nothing more is required of you.
The science behind it is real. Slow, deliberate self-touch activates the same calming response as being held. Your body does not check who the hands belong to. It just receives the signal.

What you will need: Your hands. Optionally a cream or oil - whatever you already have within reach. Not a shopping list.

First time? Try 60. Come back on a busy day and do 30.

Find somewhere you can sit or lie comfortably. Move slowly. Slower than feels natural. That is the whole practice.

Take this with you

Five minutes you can do anywhere.

Mirror Minute

Most of us have never actually looked at ourselves.
We have checked. We have assessed. We have scanned for problems or searched for reassurance. We have adjusted, compared, criticised, approved, dismissed. We have done everything except just look.
The mirror has been a tool for evaluation for so long that pure witnessing - looking at yourself the way you would look at someone you love, with no agenda, no fixing, no verdict - feels almost impossible. And the first time you try it, it probably will be.
That is not a sign you are doing it wrong. That is exactly why this practice exists.
When the mirror stops being a place you go to check if you are good enough, something shifts. Not overnight. Not after one session. But with practice, the reflection starts to feel less like a threat and more like just - you.
Sixty seconds. One look. No words. That is where it starts.

If sixty seconds feels like a lot, start with ten. The practice is in the looking, not the duration. Go easy on yourself getting here.

Go to a mirror. Take your device with you. You do not need to prepare anything.

Before you start the timer, three slow breaths. Not to calm down - just to arrive in your body before you turn your attention outward.

Ready when you are.

60
No words. No fixing. Just you.
Your sessions

Your sessions will appear here.

Same mirror. Different days. Different woman.
Take this with you

Your sessions, yours to keep.

Forgiveness Work

The stories you carry about yourself - about what you are worth, what you are allowed to want, who you are allowed to be - did not come from nowhere.
They came from somewhere specific. A comment that landed wrong and never left. A moment you were made to feel too much, or not enough. A decision someone else made about you that you somehow ended up carrying as a fact about who you are.
This practice interrupts that. Not by pretending the memories did not happen. Not by telling you to forgive and forget. But by going through them one by one, naming them specifically, and saying four phrases to each one.

How it works: This practice is based on Ho'oponopono, a Hawaiian tradition of reconciliation and release. The four phrases - I forgive you. I am sorry. Thank you. I love you. - are always addressed to yourself. Not to the person who hurt you. To the part of you that has been carrying this.


You build a list first. Then you go through it one item at a time. For each one you read it, feel into it, say the four phrases, and release it. Some things clear the first time. Others have layers - you can always come back.


You do not have to mean it one hundred percent to start. The phrases work even when they are hard to say.

If something gets big:

Step 1 - Your list
Go through your life and think about any moment - with yourself, with how you were seen, with how you saw yourself - that still has an emotional charge. Be specific. Not "I always felt bad about myself" - but the actual moment.
  • A comment someone made about your body, your appearance, your weight.
  • A time you were told you were too much - too loud, too sensitive, too needy, too intense.
  • A time you were told you were not enough - not smart enough, not pretty enough, not capable enough.
  • A moment you were made to feel ashamed of something that was just - you.
  • A relationship that left you believing something about yourself you are still trying to shake.
  • Something a parent or caregiver said about who you were or what you were capable of.
  • A time you failed at something and decided it meant something permanent about you.
  • A moment at school - academically, socially, physically - that still sits in you somewhere.
  • Something you have said to yourself - in the mirror, in your head - that you would never say to another person.
  • A decision someone else made about you, without asking you, that left a mark.
  • Something you have never said out loud because it still feels like too much.
  • A moment you chose yourself and were punished for it - made to feel selfish, difficult, ungrateful.

You do not have to complete the whole list today. You can come back and add more.

Take this with you

Your list and your released work, yours to keep.

Back to Her

Somewhere inside you there is a younger version of yourself who did not get what she needed. Maybe she was not seen. Maybe she was told she was too much, or not enough, or that her feelings were inconvenient. Maybe nobody hurt her on purpose - they just could not give her what she was looking for, because they did not have it themselves. But she felt it. And she drew a conclusion.
That conclusion became a belief. And that belief has been running quietly in the background ever since - shaping how you talk to yourself, what you think you deserve, how much you let in.
This practice goes back to get her.
It is a guided audio session. You will listen with your eyes closed. You will be taken back to a specific moment - not to relive it, not to analyse it, but to go back in as who you are now. With everything you have learned. Everything you have lived. All the things younger you did not yet have access to. And from there, you give her what she needed then.
It is one of the most direct forms of self-love there is: going back for the version of yourself that was left without.
Afterwards there are three short questions. That is the whole thing.

A few things before you press play:

  • -Give yourself twenty to thirty minutes without interruption.
  • -Find somewhere you can sit or lie comfortably with your eyes closed. Have your device close enough to hear clearly without holding it.
  • -You do not need to prepare anything mentally. You do not need to choose a memory in advance - the audio will guide you to one when you are ready.
  • -If something surfaces that feels like too much, open your eyes and come back to the room. are one tap away.
  • -When you are ready: press play, close your eyes, and follow the voice.
Back to Her - Guided Session
approx. 25 minutes
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Put the phone down once you press play. Come back to the screen when the audio ends.

Take a breath before you answer. There is no rush.

What came up during the practice?

A word, an image, a feeling, anything.

Back to Her can surface things that have been quiet for a long time. If it brought up more than you expected, that is not a sign something went wrong - it is a sign something real got touched. If it feels like too much to sit with alone, that is what support is for. A therapist, a coach, someone you trust.

Previous sessions

Your sessions will appear here.

Take this with you

Your session and what came through it.

The Bragging Practice

Your brain is not on your side when it comes to remembering what you do well.
This is not a personal failing - it is biology. The brain has a negativity bias that has been running since before we had language. Threats, failures, mistakes, embarrassments - these get registered immediately, stored strongly, retrieved easily.
Good things, unless you actively hold onto them, pass through without sticking. Your brain files "I handled that badly" under permanent storage and "I actually did that really well" under things that evaporate by Tuesday.
Bragging is the correction.
When you name something you did well - out loud, in writing, even just to yourself with no one listening - you force the brain to hold it. You create a record that exists outside your unreliable memory. You tell your nervous system: this happened, it counts, I am allowed to claim it.
Most of us were taught early that claiming credit was arrogant. That modesty was more becoming. That conditioning runs deep and it runs quietly - which is why most women do not notice how rarely they let something good about themselves just land.
The smaller the brag, the better. Big wins are easy to claim. The practice is in the small ones - because those are exactly the ones you have been trained to dismiss.

What do you want to brag about today?

Anything - too big or too small, go for it. No disclaimer needed at the end.

  • Something you made with your hands.
  • An email or message you handled exactly right.
  • A boundary you held when it would have been easier not to.
  • Something you figured out entirely on your own.
  • A moment you chose yourself over what was expected of you.
  • A conversation you showed up for honestly when you could have deflected.
  • Something that took more courage than it looked like from the outside.
  • A moment you did not apologise for taking up space.
  • Something you did today that last-year-you could not have done.
  • A time you asked for what you needed instead of waiting.
  • Something you said no to that you would previously have said yes to.
  • A moment you were kind to yourself instead of critical.

Your brag log

Your brags live here. Start with one.

Take this with you

Your brag log, yours to keep.